Posted by Jeffrey K Radt ("JRed") | Posted in Prayer Requests , Week In Review , Welcome | Posted on Sunday, August 30, 2009
I wanted to provide you all with a quick update.
First and foremost, thanks to each and every one of you who have been praying for me and Mrs. JRed, as well as those of you have have even emailed and/or called us directly. We appreciate your concern and prayers greatly -- thank you very much.
As you know, this has been a brutal 7-10 days out of the blue for me and my family. I know we all have our struggles and lot in life, and I'm not going to complain about it, but it just all caught me completely off guard. You know what else caught me off guard? I can't explain it, but it's like the good Lord took my passion for all things prophecy until I can rekindle my passion for all things Him. It's left me wondering if my love for prophecy (in that it reveals the truth of God's Word and proves His existence not to mention the fact that it's a great evangelical, witnessing tool) had surpassed my love for Him. It pains me to even consider the thought, but I want to share with you all what's been on my mind since I've put things on hold. Let me rephrase that -- since He told me quite plainly to put things on hold, and I obliged out of fear, obedience, and reverence despite the fact that it makes no sense to me.
A love for prophecy and a love for the Lord. I thought both were one in the same, that both were in sync, but maybe not. Jesus' chilling words in Matthew 7:21-23 has been weighing on me quite a bit during this time. It's bizarre and uncomfortable, but I JUST KNOW that He wants me to be still and rest -- rest in Him and His Word for some reason and to avoid writing here or engaging in discussions elsewhere (i.e. podcasts, radio shows, etc.).
I haven’t really checked email much and obviously haven't updated this site until now (besides approving comments that came in) since those last two entries last week, but I wanted to get back to you all before going off to bed (these nights have seen me go to bed at some of the earliest hours I’ve gone to bed in months too!) because I value you all as a true friends, my fellow Brothers and Sisters in Christ, and wanted to at least let you know that we’re still here and ok. We’re not out of the woods yet because they still don’t have an official diagnosis for my wife, but at least she’s out of the hospital and at home now.
On a quick side note for those who responded harshly to my comments about our experience at the local hospital. I wasn't trying to paint every medical professional and medical institution with a broad brush. I know that there is "good" and there is "bad" to everything. I was merely sharing the experience that we had and trying to convey the frustration felt despite the fact that I walked on egg shells around the staff and used kid gloves at all times because I know fully well what they have to deal with since my mom's been a Nurse her entire career. This was different. My comments regarding the "younger staff" are completely warranted. Trust me. It's sad, but it's true. Besides, being in the Employment and Recruiting Industries this is an issue that I see with nearly 90% of all younger professionals regardless of industry -- they don't want to work let alone start at the bottom of the corporate ladder even though they're right out of school. They want the world handed to them and act as though they're already on top of the world. Not a good mix. Lastly, it's not like I'm some crotchety old man either because I just turned 30 in June. Simply put, the "Me, Myself, and I" generation has infected the Health Care Industry more than any other -- at least here in Western New York it has.
Getting back to the more important issue at hand, I hate to say this because I can’t believe it, but the way this week’s been going and the way I’m feeling still, my heart just isn’t in it (writing and/or hosting The Big Finale) for whatever reason and it pains me to admit that. I’m getting the same clear message TO WAIT AND REST, which makes no sense to me given the urgency of the times not to mention the very important subject matter I was planning to discuss with upcoming guests on the show. His ways are not our ways though, right?
Who knows when (or if) I'll even get the green light from God to resume all "normal activities" again. My gosh this is so frustrating and confusing to me because it's against my nature! It’s not so much that I feel "defeated" like I maybe did when I first wrote those last two columns (after all, I’m too blessed to be depressed!), but it’s just like this "numbness" and "quiet" needs to be there because it's almost like that "voice" inside, or that fire and passion, has been diminished for some reason and the only way I can hear it and rekindle it is to be still and remove everything else that's competing for my attention right now. I know that my attention needs to be squarely on Him and His Word for now instead of on the world and on the evidence in the world that demonstrates that His plan is unfolding. Again, I don't know why or for how long. It just is what it is.
My sincere apologies. I know that many of you have made fellowship with me and the rest of this community a regular part of your daily routine. Satan might think he's won a victory by putting out fellowship on hold and by putting me on the sidelines, but what he doesn't know is that these marching orders have come from the One who is greater than him and He has a plan. I just really don’t know what else to say or how to explain this! They guy who’s used to writing 5 original pieces per day and doing 1-2 shows per week is finally at a loss for words! I have my instructions for the time being and must submit.
Thanks for your prayers. Thanks for your continued support. Thanks for your emails. Thanks for your phone calls. Thanks for your comments. Thanks for your understanding. Thanks for your patience.
Please continue to pray for me and my wife. I’ll be in touch hopefully sooner rather than later.
Jeff "JRed" Radt